Meta Coaches 譯文

透过框定改变来建立解决方案

Solution Building via Framing Change

将许多客户困住在看似无法解决问题的一个有趣框架，就是稳定性假设。这是一种远古的观念，认为世界是牢固、稳定、不变和固定的。虽然它是远古的，但有许多因素诱使大家这样想。语言可能是最大的罪魁祸首。词语和语言本身的本质是当你为一个事物命名时，那个事物就变成了你所命名的东西。之后就很难用其他方式去看待或思考它了。事实上，用言语表达一种经验给我们一种假的控制感。

 

标签问题尤其如此。一旦你以特定的方式给一个人贴上标签 – 他是酒鬼，她是婊子，他是精神分裂症患者，她是无情的商业领袖，等等，这个标签就蒙蔽了我们，使我们无法以任何其他方式看到这个人。随着重复，它产生了严重的限制。在这种情况下，诊断标签不仅会失去人性，还会把人置于不可改变的框架中。现在这个人真的被困住了！

 

想想假名词的语言 – 名词化。这些动词变成名词欺骗了我们，因为它们隐藏了行为和过程，使它们看起来稳定不变。当你听到「关系」这个词时，它听起来很坚实。然而，隐藏起来的是某人以一种特定的方式，在特定的时间与另一个人建立关系。它过度概括并造成了巨大的扭曲。

 

然而，我们都用名词化来说话，而且通常情况下，客户使用名词化来说话的过程本身就是一个问题。「当我的关系处于危险之中时，我的自尊受到了很大的伤害。」这种过于抽象的陈述使我们无法真正了解发生了什么，但更糟糕的是，我们推断出一个不变的世界。「意识到我的事业已经陷入僵局，让我的抑郁症更加严重。」

 

隐含的意思是有些事情是无法改变的。然而，事实上，改变是一个持续的进程。改变是不可避免的。稳定是一种幻觉。一切都在不断改变，因为我们生活在一个进程的宇宙中，在次原子粒子层面上，一切都是能量。这强调了解决方案的第9前提，解决方案可以透过框定改变是一个持续的、不可避免的进程来建立。

 

因此，要成为专注于解决方案的大成教练，询问改变、期望改变、寻找改变、并强调改变。虽然这对于一些客户来说可能很有挑战，但是耐心和坚持以及改变的期望提问最终会帮助客户发现改变是唯一的选择。「我一直是这样的；我就是对批评很敏感。」你小时候就是这样的吗？你刚学会走路时，对别人的批评就很敏感吗？如果你走进精神病院，其中一个病人开始批评你，你会有多敏感？

 

改变的好处是你不必从大的转换改变开始，你可以从小的改变建立一个改变的解决方案。事实上，小的改变会像滚雪球一样变成越来越大的改变。因此，要重视小的改变，并邀请客户看到小改变已经在开始了。「自上次教练节后，发生了什么改变？」如果客户找不到，询问细节，并注意听客户是否认为那些不算是改变（打折）。「喔，事情差不多是一样。好吧，那么在什么时候，你本期待事情会变得更糟，却没有发生？」

 

如果改变看起来太大、太势不可挡，那就缩小改变的范围。使用一个小的，甚至是次要的改变来促使一个更大改变的解决方案。邀请一个小的改变，一个看起来甚至不相关的改变，通常可以促进整个系统的转变和改变。这在你问澄清问题时，经常会发生的。你问客户，他是如何使用抑郁这个词时，你会在这个进程中发现它的意思是不快乐，而当你发现有小小的快乐存在时，抑郁的整体完形就起了变化。

 

作为一个大成教练，你在做这些的同时，也在使用系统思维。你采用后退方式去得到一个更大的视角，使你能够看到改变。它给你视角。这就像离家十年后回到家乡一样 – 你可以看到很多改变，而那些一直住在那里的人几乎不会注意到这些改变。

 

当你知道改变是持续的，而稳定是一种幻觉时，提问一些假设改变的问题，期望客户发生改变，强调改变的实例。然后，从改变中共同创建指引改变的解决方案，使其成为真正好的改变解决方案。

 

An interesting frame that locks many clients into seemingly unsolvable problems is the assumption of stability.  This is the primitive idea that the world is solid, stable, unchanging and fixed.  While it is primitive, there’s numerous factors that seduce a person to think that way.  Language is probably the biggest culprit.  It is the nature of words and language itself that when you name something— that’s what it is to you.  Afterwards it is hard to see or think about it in any other way.  The fact of languaging an experience gives us a pseudo-sense of control over it.

 

This is especially the problem with labels.  Once you label a person in a particular way— he is an alcoholic, she is a bitch, he is schizophrenic, she is a ruthless business leader, and so on.  The label blinds us from being able to see the person in any other way.  And with repetition, it creates a severe limitation.  This is where diagnostic labels can become not only dehumanizing, but also put the person in a frame of unchangeability.  Now the person is really stuck!

 

Consider the language of false nouns— nominalizations.  These verbs turned into nouns deceive us precisely because they hide the action and the processes and freeze them so that they seem stable and unchanging.  When you hear about a “relationship,” it sounds solid.  Yet hidden away is that someone is relating to someone else in a particular way, at a particular time.  It extremely over-generalizes and creates an immense distortion.

 

Yet we all talk in nominalizations and, oftentimes, the very process of clients talking in nominalizations is the problem.  “With my relationship on the line, my self-esteem has suffered a lot.”  Such overly abstract statements prevent us from actually knowing what’s going on, but even worse, we infer an unchanging world.  “The realization that my career has reached a stalemate makes my depression worse.”

 

Implied is the idea that some things are unchangeable.  Yet actually, change is an ongoing process.  Change is inevitable.  Stability is the illusion.  Everything is constantly changing because we live in a process universe where at the sub-atomic level, everything is energy.  This underscores solution premise #9, Solutions can be built by framing change as an ongoing, inevitable process.

 

Therefore, to be a solution focused Meta-Coach, ask about change, expect change, look for change, and highlight changes.  While this can be challenging with some clients, patience and persistence along with change expectation questions will eventually help clients discover that change is the only option.   “I’ve always been this way; I’m just sensitive to criticism.”  You were that way as a child?  You were sensitive to criticism when you first learned to walk?  How sensitive to criticism would you be if you walked into a mental ward and one of the patients started criticizing you?

 

The nice thing about change is that you don’t have to start with large transformational change, you can build a change solution from small changes.  In fact, small changes can snowball into larger and larger changes.  So value minimal changes and invite your client to see that bits of change has begun.  “What has changed since the last session?”  If the client can’t find any, ask for specifics and tune your ears for discounting.  “So things are about the same.  Okay, and where there times when you could have expected that things would have gotten worse, but they did not?”

 

If the change seems too big and overwhelming, scale it down.  Use a small, even a minor, change to develop a larger solution change.  Inviting a small change, one that may even seem irrelevant, can often facilitate an entire system to shift and change.  This often happens when you ask the clarity check question.  You ask your client how she is using the word depression and in the process you discover it means being unhappy and when you find out that there are small little happiness’s present, the overall gestalt of depression changes.

 

When you do this as a Meta-Coach, you are also using systems thinking.  You are essentially stepping back and gaining a larger level perspective which enables you to see change.  It gives you perspective.  It’s like returning to a home or town after being away for ten years— you can see lots of changes whereas someone who has been there all the time hardly notices them.

 

When you know that change is continuous and stability is the illusion, ask questions that assume change, expect change in your client, highlight instances of change.  Then, out of change co-create solutions that will direct the change so it becomes truly a good change solution.

Meta-Coaching（中文名称：“大成教练”）是一个国际专业的教练培训认证体系，由美国认知行为学博士麦可·霍尔博士（L.Michael Hall Ph.D）于2001年创立。

Meta-Coaching (大成教练)，是超越传统教练，将你带到更高层次，使你的体验更深远、更启发，具有革新意义的教练模式，这也是“meta”这个词的来源。

Meta-Coaching由ISNS（身心语义学）的创始人、NLP最初的研发者之一Michael Hall博士独创的一套系统化的教练培训课程，以高标准和高专业度而著称。

认证过程严谨，含金量极高，在业界享有很高的声誉，在全球超过45个国家共讲授了100多届

大成教练整合了认知行为学领域的最佳成果，这些领域包括了身心语义学（Neuro Semantics）、神经语言程式学（NLP）、自我实现心理学（Self-Actualization Psychology）、发展心理学（Developmental Psychology）以及教练技术（Coaching）。

大成教练不仅仅只是教练技术（Coaching），而是更高层次的教练。因为它专注于识别、发现和有效地处理一个人的内在过程、结构、思维模式、框架和信念等等。

2009年，导师Mandy Chai将“大成教练” 带到中国大陆，从此她陪伴老麦每年来到国内，至今已是第十二个年头。

大成教练训练系统为致力于获取丰富的人际关系和巨大成功的专业教练、组织或者个人提供现今世界上最尖端的教练技术。

不会成长的目标

GOALS THAT DON’T DEVELOP

在教练中可能会出错的事情恰好是这一个：客户的目标不会成长。很明显，你从这个问题开始，「你想要什么？」，接着你用意向力问题来补充这个问题:「为什么这对你来说很重要？」事实上，你重复这个问题五次或更多，以确保提出的目标确实是一个真正的目标、一个重要的目标、一个与他生活有关的目标，一个与他价值观有关的目标。

 

然而……正如你所知道的，通常目标是小而自私的目标，对他生活的影响没什么差别。这时候，身为教练，你处于选择点。「我应该继续客户提出的这个目标，还是应该挑战他去得到真正重要的东西？」这里没有「正确」答案。对于某些不太相信的客户，他们可能要你先接受所提出的目标，而不要太多的质疑，这样他们先学会信任你并进入教练的体验。

 

然而，对于其他客户来说，直接着手他们先提出的目标，可能代表你不太相信他们，认为你可以接受他们没有大的野心，以及你不太在乎去挑战他们。这就是我为ACMC培训（培训大成教练们）的条件。我期待你利用练习节来提出你的目标，而且是足够大与重要的目标，让教练有真的东西可以操作。如果不这样做，那么真正的问题又来了：「身为教练的你，是否可被教练？」如果学员教练给的只是小小的目标，我们就无法判断他真的是不是一个自我实现的人，原意走出自己的舒适区。

 

这是一个点，但也是另外一个。健康的目标会成长。当你朝向一个重要的目标时，它会变大、进化与熟成一个更加重要的目标。客户通常从一个外在目标开始，减肥，开始锻炼，学习一项新技能等等。然后，在教练过程中，这个人开始成长和改变，当他们改变的时候，他们的目标也会改变。从一开始的短浅自私的目标，变成了实现更高尚的目标。

• 赚更多的钱变成了一种能丰富他人生活的业务。
• 减肥变成了有更多内在美的人。
• 戒烟变成了要更有活力，成为孩子的榜样。

 

客户通常进入教练节的时候，并没有想要达成一些崇高的目标，但在过程中，他们却得到了一个愿景。他们开始思考生活的更高、更多的崇高理由。他们的目标从外在目标转向内在目标，存在与成为的目标、如何由内而外生活的目标。他们现在要的是更多的韧性、更多的爱、更多的贡献、更多的耐心等等。

 

这就是我第一次设定财务目标时发生的事情。起初，它只是关于钱。这只是关于增加收入。后来，我的财务目标扩大到包括预算、储蓄、投资和后期被动收入等。后来，我的目标从金钱演变为创造价值、看到机会、抓住机会、成为一个内心富有的人：富有想法、时间、关系、健康、快乐等等。我从外在目标演变成一些自我实现的目标，关于存在与成为的目标。

 

我再次问：「客户的目标是否在成长中？那些目标是否逐渐成为自我实现的目标？它们是否让客户的生活变得更加自我实现？」当客户的目标在成长时，他会越来越朝向生成目标。他们的目标变得更「成为」（becoming）而不是专注于为生活的各种烦恼找解决方案或补救措施。现在他们的目标变成：

• 更韧性
• 很棒的学习者
• 当挫折时，更有魅力
• 当错误表达时，更宽恕
• 更多的贡献

 

如果这是另外一件可能会出错的事情，现在你知道有这个可能，因此身为教练，你知道可以怎么做了。

 

Here’s something else that could go wrong in coaching and this happens to be a subtle one— your client’s goals don’t develop.  Obvious you begin with the question, “What do you want?” and you supplement that question with the intentionality question, “Why is that important to you?”  In fact, you repeat that question five times or more to make sure that the goal presented is indeed a real goal, an important goal, a goal that is relevant to the person’s life, and a goal that’s connected to her values.

 

And yet … as you well know, often the goals are small selfish goals that won’t really make that much of a difference in the person’s life.  At that point you, as the coach, are at a choice point. “Should I go with this goal that my client has presented or should I challenge him to get something really significant?”  There is no one “right” answer to that.  For some clients who are not very trusting, they may need you to first accept what they offer without much questioning so that they learn to trust you and enter into the experience of coaching.

 

Yet for other clients, to go with the goals they first present, could very well be a sign that you don’t believe in them very much, that you are okay with them thinking small, and that you don’t care enough to challenge them.  That’s the condition I have set for ACMC training— for training Meta-Coaches.  We expect that you use the practice sessions to present your goals and to make them big enough and significant enough to give the coach something real to work with.  If you don’t, and a really important question arises again, “Are you, as a coach, coachable?”  If a coach-to-be only gives minor little goals, we cannot tell if that person is actually a self-actualizing person willing to stretch out of his comfort zone or not.

 

That’s one point and yet this is another one.  Healthy goals develop.   As you are reaching forward to a significant goal, it will expand, evolve, develop, and become a much more significant goal.  Clients normally start with an outer goal— lose weight, begin exercising, learn a new skill, etc.  Then, within the coaching process itself, the person begins to grow and change and as they change, so do their goals.  What started off as a shortsighted little selfish goal develops into a goal for achieving something much more noble.

• Making more money becomes creating a business that will enrich the lives of many others.
• Losing weight becomes wanting to become a more beautiful person on the inside.
• Getting rid of the smoking habit becomes wanting to be energetic as a model for one’s children.

How often it is that a client enters coaching and has no intention of achieving some noble purpose, but in the process they catch a vision.  They begin to think of higher and more noble reasons for living.  Their goals change from outer goals to inner goals— goals of being and becoming, goals for how they live their lives from the inside-out.  Now they want to be more resilient, more loving, more contributing, more patient, etc.

 

That’s what happened to me when I first set a financial goal.  At first it was just about money.  It was just about increasing income.  Later, my financial goals expanded to include budgeting, saving, investing, and later passive income, etc.  Later the goals evolved from money to creating value, to seeing opportunities, to seizing opportunities, to becoming a wealthy person within myself— wealthy in ideas, time, relationships, health, joy, etc.  What started out as an external goal evolved into some self-actualization goals, goals about being and becoming.

 

So again, I ask: Are your client’s goals developing?  Are they becoming self-actualization goals?  Are they moving your client to living more of a self-actualizing life?  When your client’s goals develop, the person moves more and more into generative goals.  Instead of focusing on fixing problems and finding remedies for various hassles of life— the goals become about becoming.  They become about becoming the very best version of the person.  Now they have goals like:

• highly resilient
• a great learner
• more charming when frustrated
• more forgiving when mis-represented
• more contributing

If that is yet another thing that could go wrong, now you have a heads-up and an idea of what you can do as a Meta-Coach.

透过亲和建立解决方案

Solution Building via Rapport

当你与客户共同创建解决方案时，你开发了一种独特的对话方式 – 以交互式解决方案为重点的对话。我们称之为「教练」。要真正专注于解决方案，你必须采用一种独特的思维方式。由于你不是顾问或教师，所以你的职责不是找出解决方案并将其交给客户。相反，你的工作要困难得多。这是前提2所建议的：解决方案最好是在客户感到安全、信任和有价值的时候构建。

 

挑战在于与客户共同创造。要做到这一点，你必须与客户建立亲和的关系，促进客户的内在力量，并使客户能够与你合作。一旦你这样做了，你就必须进入那个人的矩阵，这样你才能发现那个人是如何思考、如何评价、如何过滤（处事模式）、如何改变的。毕竟，你不是那个需要解决方案的人。你不是那个应用解决方案的人。因此，如果解决方案对那个人有效，它必须是适合那个人和她的情况。由于这个原因，解决方案将是独特定制的，这样它才有意义，并适合客户的上场景。

 

亲和关系是首要的也是最重要，还有一个原因。亲和关系使客户能够与你合作。对于这一点，从你开始。你从与客户合作开始 – 匹配身体、匹配词语、匹配信念、理解等等。你确认、你认可、你赞美。透过所有这些方式，你传达了你支持客户的信息。然后，出于安全和信任的氛围，客户允许自己与你合作。

这不是有趣的吗？客户来找你，想要你的帮助、付你钱、投入时间和精力，然后有所保留。有些人还会积极抵抗！究竟为什么会有人那样做呢？通常是因为没有足够的亲和关系，对方在试探你，看你是否真的在为他着想。有时候，抗拒是一个人在这个世界上的运作方式 – 他的处事模式。他错配。这只是他的思维方式。有时，一个人在性情的意志坚强，不知道如何顺从。

 

不管原因是什么，教练和客户之间的推力和拉力，来回力道（也被贴上「阻力」的标签）阻碍了一起共创解决方案。在这种情况下，你提出问题，客户却不回答。有时客户可能会转移你的注意力到问题和抱怨上。有时客户可能会将注意力转移到愿望、希望、欲望，而不是目标上。

 

大成教练： 你的目标是什么？

客户：     我厌倦拖延。我只是觉得我在浪费生命。有时我很沮丧，有时我很生气……我不知道该怎么办。

大成教练： 那你想对这件事做出什么改变呢？

客户：     我妻子也对我的拖延症有意见。我想做得更好，我做到了。但在我下定决心之后，事情并没有好转。

大成教练： 当我们完成教练后，你想怎样做而不是拖延？

在所有这些回应中，客户机实际上都在合作。问题是他没有以我们通常希望的方式合作，也没有以一种看似合作的方式。它甚至看起来像是抗拒或分散注意力。然而，把它框定为「抗拒」是没有效率的，反而会让你工作更困难。而是假设这是他合作的方式。当你这么做的时候，你会发现他告诉了你很多关于他自己的事情，他是如何运作的、他是如何思考的以及他生活的矩阵。你如何采取第一步与这样的客户共同创建解决方案？确认你所听到的，然后给予肯定或赞美。

 

确认： 我听你说你已经厌倦了拖延。这种拖延让你觉得你在浪费生命。它有时会让你沮丧，有时会让你生气。

赞美： 我很赏识你已经意识到拖延是如何破坏你最高和最好的，以及你开始采取第一步来对付它的。

带领： 所以我猜你已经准备好放弃拖延来采取有效的行动了，对吗？

 

透过这种方式的确认和赞美，你正在建立亲和关系，并建立起一种支持的关系。这时候，你提出解决方案取向的问题将更像是邀请与客户共同创建。

解决方案取向的问题：当你不再拖延、不再浪费生命、不再沮丧、不再愤怒时，你会做什么？做了那些，你会有什么感受？

 

如果你已经准备好成为一名解决方案取向的大成教练，那么就从亲和开始吧，当你完全进入客户的世界时，要保持一种深度的亲和感。接纳与欣赏客户为教练节所带来的一切，并开始共同创造解决方案。

 

Solution Building via Rapport

When you co-create solutions with your client, you develop an unique way of conversing— an interactive solution focused dialogue.  We call that conversation— “coaching.”  To be truly solution focused in your coaching, you have to adopt an unique way of thinking.  Since you are not a consultant or a teacher, it is not your role to figure out the solution and hand it to your client.  Instead you have a much tougher job.  This is what premise #2 suggests: Solutions are best built when the client feels safe, trusted, and valued.

 

The challenge is to co-create with your client. And to do that, you have to gain rapport, facilitate your client’s inner powers, and enable your client to work together with you collaboratively.  Once you do that you have to enter into that person’s matrix— so that you can discover how that person thinks, values, filters (meta-programs), and changes.  After all, you are not the one who needs the solution.  And you are not the one who will be applying the solution.  So if the solution will work for that person, it has to fit for that person and her situation.  It is for this reason that the solution will be uniquely customized so that it makes sense (meaningful) and fits your client’s context.

 

Rapport is first and foremost for yet another reason.  Rapport enables the client to cooperate with you.  For this, you go first.  You start by cooperating with your client— matching physiology, matching words, matching beliefs, understandings, etc.  You acknowledge, your validate, you compliment.  In all of these ways, you communicate that you are there for your client.  Then, out of that safety and atmosphere of trust, the client allows himself to cooperate with you.

 

Isn’t that funny?  A client comes to you, wants your help, pays you money, invests time and energy and then holds back.  Some will actively resist!  Why in the world would someone do that?  Usually it’s because there’s not enough rapport and the person is testing you to see if you are really there on his behalf or not.  Sometimes the resistance is the person’s way of operating in the world— her meta-program.  She mismatches.  It’s just his way of thinking.  Sometimes the person is strongwill in temperament and does not know how to be compliant.

 

 

Whatever the reason— the push-and-tug, the back-and-forth between coach and client (what is labeled as “resistance”) prevents a mutual collaborative co-creating of solutions.  In these instances, you ask questions and the client doesn’t answer them.  Sometimes the client may distract you to problems and complaints.  Sometimes the client may distract to wishes, hopes, desires, but not goals.

 

Meta-Coach:   What is your goal?

Client:             I am so sick of procrastinating.  I just feel like I’m wasting my life.  Sometimes I get depressed and sometimes I get so angry … I don’t know what to do.

MC:                So what would you like to change about that?

C:                   My wife is also on my case about procrastinating.  And I want to do better, I do.  But after I make a resolution, things don’t get better.

MC:                When we finish the coaching, how would you like to be acting instead of procrastination?

 

In all of these responses, the client is actually cooperating.  The problem is that he is not cooperating in the way we typically want cooperation and not in a way that seems like cooperating.  It may even seem like resisting or distracting.  Yet framing it as “resistance” is not productive and actually makes your work harder.  Instead assume that this is his way of cooperating.  When you do then you’ll discover that he is telling you a lot about himself, how he operates, how he thinks, and the matrix he lives within.  How do you take the first step with such a client to co-create a solution?  Acknowledge what you hear and then give either a validation or a compliment.

 

Acknowledgment: What I have heard you say is that you are so sick of procrastinating.  That procrastination makes you feel like you’re wasting your life.  And that it sometimes leads you to get depressed and sometimes to get angry.

 

Compliment:           I’m impressed at how aware you have become about how procrastination undermines your highest and best and how you have begin taking the first steps to deal with it.

 

Leading:                So I’m guessing you are ready to give up procrastinating for taking effective action, is that right?

By acknowledging and complimenting in this way, you are creating rapport and building up a supportive relationship.  Now your solution focused questions will be more like to invite a co-creation with your client.

 

Solution focused questions: When you’re not procrastinating and not wasting your life and no longer depressed or angry, what will you be doing and how will that enable you to feel?

 

If you’re ready to become a solution focused Meta-Coach— start with rapport, deep rapport as you enter fully into your client’s world.   Accept and appreciate whatever your client brings to the session and begin to co-develop the solution.

透过他们思考的方式来建立解决方案

让我们从下两个前提开始（从最初的前提列表），它们定义并描述了以解决方案取向的大成教练：

＃3 解决方案是心理-情绪地图的功能

＃4   解决方案是从思考、意义制作以及整合构成的。

 

从这些解决方案原则，解决方案由人的思维模式构建。毕竟，如果不能「思考」解决方案，他们就无法「执行」解决方案。最终，他们必须表象它并框定它。这就为你提供了与客户一起探索的几个领域。

• 这个人的思维模式（处事模式）是什么？
• 你在这个人的思维中发现了哪些认知扭曲和/或谬误？
• 这个人的谈话和思考有哪些认知偏见是明显的？
• 当你后退并推断这个人谈话中隐含的东西时，他做出了哪些假设？

为了共同创造一个解决方案 – 每当你听到一个让你感到特别有意义的想法时，使用确认。它可能让你觉得是解决方案，也可能让你觉得是问题。确认任何可能表明处事模式、认知偏见或认知扭曲的想法。确认好的、坏的、丑陋的。就直接问他。在这一点上，不要挑战它，一开始不要。首先，只要把注意力引到思考上。通常情况下，客户会立即对你的确认做出反应。当他们听到自己的话被外化时，他们会感到惊讶，甚至震惊。

• 「我说的？ ！」
• 「当你这么说的时候，听起来很傻。」
• 「嗯，不完全是，我应该说…」

当你确认时，你经常把那些几乎无意识的，甚至无意识的东西带入全意识。这往往是客户的警钟。它可能揭示一个老旧的后催眠暗示（post-hypnotic suggestion）和停止那个老旧的恍惚状态。它可能可以去除催眠！你所做的是让想法变得可见。

 

这里有另一个解决方案取向的动态和技能。我们的大多数想法都是隐形的 – 甚至对我们自己来说也是如此。毕竟，你和我想得如此之快，如此不自觉，远远快于我们把所有的想法都变成文字的速度。因此，当你提问并让客户回答时，你是在帮助她使她的想法变得可见 – 不仅对你可见，甚至对她也可见。这扩展了自我意识，伴随着这种内在意识而来的是选择。

 

这时，一旦你让这个人的想法可见，你就可以决定「想法本身」是不是问题，是否需要一个解决方案。这是常有的事。思考的框架是问题，而不是人。这个人正在用制造障碍和干扰的思考方式。这就是把处事模式和语言检定模式问题当作最好教练工具的地方。现在，你可以扩展处事模式或提出以相反的处事模式为前提的问题。现在，你可以问一些具体的问题，使他能够重新映射他已经做出的结论。这一切都是因为解决方案是我们的心理-情绪地图的功能。所以当你帮助那个人重新映射的时候，你的客户可以开始创建一个有效的心理和情绪地图。

 

第四个前提同样描述了解决方案取向的过程：解决方案由思考、意义制作和整合构成的。当你让这个人的想法可见时，你就能知道问题是出在意义上，还是创造问题的意义制作类型。有了这些，你就可以转向信念改变、换框、大脑到肌肉模式和其他介入模式。

 

最终，解决方案是想法、建议，甚至是完整的策略。我们透过新的和不同的思考方法来解决问题。我们透过新设框的方法来解决问题。成为一个专注于解决方案的大成教练，你要让客户的想法变得可见。然后你们两个就会对如何开发一个解决方案有很好的想法。

想要更多的解决方案吗？请参阅《Creative Solutions》（2017）以及《Executive Thinking 》（2018）。

 

Solution Building via The Way They Think

 

Let us start with the next two premises (from that original list of premises) that define and describe solution focused Meta-Coaching:

#3. Solutions are functions of our mental-emotional maps.

#4. Solutions are constructed from thinking, meaning-making, and integrating.

 

From these solution principles, the solution will be constructed from the person’s thinking patterns.  After all, if they can’t think the solution, they won’t be able to do the solution.  Ultimately they have to represent it and frame it.  That gives you several areas to explore with your client.

∙            What are the person’s thinking patterns (meta-programs)?

∙            What cognitive distortions and/or fallacies do you detect in the person’s thinking?

∙            What cognitive biases are evident in the person’s talking and thinking?

∙            As you step back and infer what’s implied in the person’s talk, what assumptions are being made?

To co-create a solution— use acknowledgments whenever you hear a piece of thinking that strikes you as particularly significant. It might strike you as the solution, it might strike you as the problem. Acknowledge any piece of thinking that might indicate a meta-program, a cognitive bias or cognitive distortion. Acknowledge the good, the bad, the ugly.  Just ask.  At this point, do not challenge it, not at first. First simply draw attention to the thinking.  Often clients will immediately react to your acknowledgment. They will be surprised, even shocked, when they hear their words externalized.

• “I said that?!”
• “That sounds silly when you say it.”
• “Well, not really, I should have said …”

When you acknowledge, you often bring what may be barely conscious, even unconscious, into full consciousness. It is often a wake up call for your client. It may bring an old post-hypnotic suggestion to light and break that old trance. It may de-hypnotize! What you are doing is making the thinking visible.

 

Here’s another solution focus dynamic and skill.  Most of our thinking is invisible—even to us. After all, you and I can think so fast and so unconsciously, far faster than we can turn all of the thoughts into words. So when you ask questions and get a client to speak, you are helping that person to make her thoughts visible— visible not only to you, but even to them.  This expands self-awareness and with that inner awareness comes choice.

 

Now once you have made the person’s thinking visible, you are in a position to determine if “the thinking itself” is the problem and needs a solution.  This is often the case. The frame of thinking is the problem, not the person. The person is using a way of thinking that creates the blocks and interferences. This is where the Meta-Programs Model and the Meta-Model Questions become some of your very best coaching tools. Now you can expand meta-programs or ask questions that presuppose the opposite meta-program. Now you can ask specificity questions to enable the person to re-map the conclusions which the person has made. All of this is because Solutions are functions of our mental-emotional maps. So when you help the person re-map, your client can begin to create a mental and emotional map that will work.

 

The fourth premise similarly describes the solution focus process: Solutions are constructed from thinking, meaning-making, and integrating. As you make the person’s thinking visible, you can then tell if is the meaning that’s the problem or the kind of meaning-making that created the problem. And with that, you can move to belief change, reframing, mind-to-muscling, and other patterns for intervention.

 

Ultimately, solutions are ideas, suggestions, or even full fledged strategies. We solve things by thinking in new and different ways. We solve things by framing things in a new way. To be a solution focused Meta-Coach– work to make your client’s thinking visible. Then both of you will have a pretty good idea about how to develop a solution.

 

Want more about solutions? See Creative Solutions (2017) as well as Executive Thinking (2018).