为了共同创造一个解决方案 – 每当你听到一个让你感到特别有意义的想法时，使用确认。它可能让你觉得是解决方案，也可能让你觉得是问题。确认任何可能表明处事模式、认知偏见或认知扭曲的想法。确认好的、坏的、丑陋的。就直接问他。在这一点上，不要挑战它，一开始不要。首先，只要把注意力引到思考上。通常情况下，客户会立即对你的确认做出反应。当他们听到自己的话被外化时，他们会感到惊讶，甚至震惊。
- 「我说的？ ！」
这里有另一个解决方案取向的动态和技能。我们的大多数想法都是隐形的 – 甚至对我们自己来说也是如此。毕竟，你和我想得如此之快，如此不自觉，远远快于我们把所有的想法都变成文字的速度。因此，当你提问并让客户回答时，你是在帮助她使她的想法变得可见 – 不仅对你可见，甚至对她也可见。这扩展了自我意识，伴随着这种内在意识而来的是选择。
想要更多的解决方案吗？请参阅《Creative Solutions》（2017）以及《Executive Thinking 》（2018）。
Solution Building via The Way They Think
Let us start with the next two premises (from that original list of premises) that define and describe solution focused Meta-Coaching:
#3. Solutions are functions of our mental-emotional maps.
#4. Solutions are constructed from thinking, meaning-making, and integrating.
From these solution principles, the solution will be constructed from the person’s thinking patterns. After all, if they can’t think the solution, they won’t be able to do the solution. Ultimately they have to represent it and frame it. That gives you several areas to explore with your client.
∙ What are the person’s thinking patterns (meta-programs)?
∙ What cognitive distortions and/or fallacies do you detect in the person’s thinking?
∙ What cognitive biases are evident in the person’s talking and thinking?
∙ As you step back and infer what’s implied in the person’s talk, what assumptions are being made?
To co-create a solution— use acknowledgments whenever you hear a piece of thinking that strikes you as particularly significant. It might strike you as the solution, it might strike you as the problem. Acknowledge any piece of thinking that might indicate a meta-program, a cognitive bias or cognitive distortion. Acknowledge the good, the bad, the ugly. Just ask. At this point, do not challenge it, not at first. First simply draw attention to the thinking. Often clients will immediately react to your acknowledgment. They will be surprised, even shocked, when they hear their words externalized.
- “I said that?!”
- “That sounds silly when you say it.”
- “Well, not really, I should have said …”
When you acknowledge, you often bring what may be barely conscious, even unconscious, into full consciousness. It is often a wake up call for your client. It may bring an old post-hypnotic suggestion to light and break that old trance. It may de-hypnotize! What you are doing is making the thinking visible.
Here’s another solution focus dynamic and skill. Most of our thinking is invisible—even to us. After all, you and I can think so fast and so unconsciously, far faster than we can turn all of the thoughts into words. So when you ask questions and get a client to speak, you are helping that person to make her thoughts visible— visible not only to you, but even to them. This expands self-awareness and with that inner awareness comes choice.
Now once you have made the person’s thinking visible, you are in a position to determine if “the thinking itself” is the problem and needs a solution. This is often the case. The frame of thinking is the problem, not the person. The person is using a way of thinking that creates the blocks and interferences. This is where the Meta-Programs Model and the Meta-Model Questions become some of your very best coaching tools. Now you can expand meta-programs or ask questions that presuppose the opposite meta-program. Now you can ask specificity questions to enable the person to re-map the conclusions which the person has made. All of this is because Solutions are functions of our mental-emotional maps. So when you help the person re-map, your client can begin to create a mental and emotional map that will work.
The fourth premise similarly describes the solution focus process: Solutions are constructed from thinking, meaning-making, and integrating. As you make the person’s thinking visible, you can then tell if is the meaning that’s the problem or the kind of meaning-making that created the problem. And with that, you can move to belief change, reframing, mind-to-muscling, and other patterns for intervention.
Ultimately, solutions are ideas, suggestions, or even full fledged strategies. We solve things by thinking in new and different ways. We solve things by framing things in a new way. To be a solution focused Meta-Coach– work to make your client’s thinking visible. Then both of you will have a pretty good idea about how to develop a solution.
Want more about solutions? See Creative Solutions (2017) as well as Executive Thinking (2018).